Existential Crisis

Sometimes, you get so involved in thinking deeper about certain things, that you don’t actually realize that you are living with the thoughts day in and day out. One needs a kick to come out of a dream, like in “Inception”. Rahul’s posterous post did just that to me (Okay, I won’t link to that here!). He finally, made me write this long pending piece. This post is dedicated to you, Rahul 🙂


As I walk down the lanes filled with long history, mind wanders down my own memory lane. Each tree, each building – towered by their past, stare at me from above. Each thought, each cell too stare at me, from beneath the skin. I wondered at the beauty of Silcher’s statue and my philosopher friend commented about the violent images it reminded her of. I was surprised when she said that, and later shocked, when I realized that I conveniently erased the violent parts of the image from my memory.

“You seem to have friends everywhere in the world”
“Yeah, it seems so to me too” I respond, with an I-Dunno-What-Iam-Talking expression.
“What did you do to get so many friends? How are you staying in touch?”
“I did not do anything. I am just lucky to have them in my life!” my heart reels behind the facade.
“You must be fun and friendly, I guess”
“My foot! its my friends who are that. Not me!” my thoughts rush ahead of my action.
All conversations are pretensions, truths and lies.

Life beams with radiance. Death glares with a “never say die” impertinence. I feel like the cheese in a sandwich. Grave realities stare at me. Dark memories starkly haunt me, refusing to forget themselves in my present. Amidst all these, I have a hearty nonsensical laugh. A moment you laugh; The next moment you cry, till the eyes go dry; And then, like my thoughts, the looks go wry. Rhymes, so many I try. Breaking thoughts, they start to pry. And I laugh again…and I talk again…and I walk again…and I cry again..and I laugh…!

Broken thoughts, Unbroken memories
Clear predictions, Unclear hopes
Peopled conversations, Lonely investigations
Virtual reality, real virtuality
That is me – is that me?
Existential crisis!!

Published in: on April 14, 2011 at 11:01 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Neat. Poetic too. 😉

  2. One of the best ones from you.

  3. 🙂 same feel here.
    Very well expressed.

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